One morning, several weeks ago, I was signing into my new fancy Remote Work Experience™ and my kids were in the office doing their usual morning routine of begging to play Fortnite followed by crying about not being able to play Fortnite. I had an eBay window open because I had been looking for something, probably a strategy guide for Fire Emblem or something. They had become obsessed with Deadpool mostly because he is currently in (you guessed it) Fortnite. They also have a table full of Legos and one of them asked, “Why don’t we have Deadpool Legos?” to which I responded, “Because there are no Deadpool Legos (I guessed). This led to my being coerced into searching eBay for Deadpool Legos. Well, there are apparently Deadpool “Legos”.

They demanded that i order them the Deadpool characters. I did what any other parent would do. I said “No, I’m not paying $4 each for a miniature Deadpool Lego guy that you are going to drop on the floor and forget about only to have it find its way embedded into the bottom of my foot one night when I go in to turn the Tortoise’s heat lamp off on my way to bed, good day, sir!”, took them to school, and came home and ordered the overpriced Chinese knock off “Lego” characters.

$4 each plus $4 shipping plus 8 weeks later for shipping and here they are. I forgot I had ordered them and opened the package in front of the kids. So after using them as a bribe to go get their pajamas on and teeth brushed I gave them out and the kids began to play with them. 5 minutes later, one of the katanas had broken. A little gorilla glue and an overnight rest and it was as good as new ( I guess).

My favorite part is Provide Against the Children to Eat

You can see that the hand sockets are too small for regular hands

and that Deadpool likes backrubs.

You can see the hands are too small for regular sockets

Oh look, the feet don’t say Lego™, that seems legit

But in the end Deadpool and regular Lego™ characters can be friends

and yet another side effect of my website having been transferred to a new server (grrr) I can’t post pictures. Ill fix it later.

Edit: Weeks later, I fixed it!


I worked all day. Tried to run a virtual Cub Scout meeting. My kid was super disrespectful. At least wifey made apple crisp and got me a sweet trailblazers hoodie.

Happy birthday to me. And Eric Clapton, and MC Hammer, and Tracy Chapman, and Pete Holmes, and Norah Jones, and apparently Celine Dion, and Apparently John Astin is still alive and he is exactly 50 years older than I am. Also Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid in the Harry Potter films), and Chris Sale even though you are a douche for cutting all those jerseys when you played for the White Sox.