What if the whole vegan thing is just a conspiracy to make us taste better to vampires? Maybe they can’t stand how sweet our blood is these days. Sadly, it’s more likely a conspiracy to cultivate better quality organs for the rich to harvest.

Happy Birthday…

To my head, neck, and back injuries. To my kiddo’s near-fatal head trauma.

On the bright side, it’s been 365 days since I’ve been in a car wreck. It’s astonishing how much impact on everyone’s lives it can have when someone doesn’t pay attention while driving.

365 days since a guy decided to do anything but looking in front of him and parked his F350 in the back of my car at 65 mph.

I still hate the weightless feeling of elevators because it reminds me of the feeling of being hit. I still cringe and recoil when people come up fast in my rearview. I will probably always have back spasms and crushing pain in my neck and back. At least we walked away from it.

Drive safe kids.

Happy New Year: 2020 Edition

Happy birthday, everyone (not that anyone reads this but my shrink said I should write stuff down).

I don’t really believe in resolutions for New Years so I have a couple of goals:

Play more video games

Go back to the gym

Watch a bunch of the movies that I am way way behind on.

These sound like super easy goals but since the wreck in January I have a hard time looking at screens too long and I still can’t lift or bend for beans at this point. We shall see how it goes.

I should add writing something once per week minimum.

Stay safe and healthy.

Snow-verkill Day

When snow is falling it has a particular beauty to it. It seems to make the sky so much brighter and leaves everything fluffy and quiet as two or so inches fall upon everything. It’s the next foot of snow that is a major pain in my rump and lower back.

I got up early(ish) and made crepes. The kids took one look and said “what is that?” I said, “it’s a crepe. Like a French pancake. You put strawberries and whipped cream, or Nutella and bananas or whatever in it. They looked at me like my head was on fire and said, “no thanks, just a granola bar” (this is paraphrased as my 6 year old likes to shorten words and refers to them as “a granol” I don’t get it but I guess it’s what kids do)

I guess I’ll make Dutch babies or waffles tomorrow. Wacky kids. They also declared that they didn’t want to go outside and play in the snow because apparently no-school days equate to all-day video games and tv in their little minds. When we were kids it was all about playing outside until you get frozen and then come inside and play games. But when I was their age we had an odyssey 2. Not as exciting as having every console and arcade game available at your fingertips.

Can’t sleep so a few points

I was trying to buy a car something like two weeks ago now. “Oh sure, it’s here on the lot somewhere, sit in the sales office and wait.” Which took 2 hours only to find out it wasn’t there. On the wall was this poster.

I’m not sure that a lion is a good example of leadership. Pictured is a male lion who pretty much sits around and expects the lionesses to bring him food and whatnot. It’s really more of a show of arrogance.





ALSO, I really hate that Haribo Gold Bears commercial with all of the people in the meeting with child voices. It makes me irrationally angry. Like a phone call from Farmers.