The Best of Christmas

Ok. So I complained about it a lot. There’s some good Christmas stuff too.

Best movies:

Die Hard- even before it was trendy. I remember watching it with my dad. It’s festive, it’s fun, it’s a classic.
Love Actually- yes, it’s considered to be pop fluff but nearly everything in the movie is perfect.
Simpsons Christmas Special- much like Charlie Brown the underdog comes through.
Scrooged- the best telling of A Christmas Carol.
Muppets Christmas Carol- almost as good as Scrooged.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas- the original.

Best music :

12 days of Christmas- tie between the muppets/ John Denver and Straight No Chaser.
Dominic the Donkey- Lou Monte.
Pentatonix Christmas albums.

so there. I’m a huge grinch, but I said something nice about it.

The Worst of Christmas

I am grinchy. I make no bones about that, and I even “celebrated” December 1st by changing my MS Teams picture to the Grinch. It was hard to find a picture in which he wasn’t looking happy. I don’t need to remind myself about how terrible the 2018 version of The Grinch was either, but that comes to mind.

So here’s the worst Christmas songs:

Paul McCartney: Wonderful Christmastime. This used to be my least favorite song. Not just Christmas, but everything. The worst Beatle. The worst of his terrible writing.

NewSong: Christmas Shoes. I know everyone hates on Christmas Shoes and there’s a good reason for that. It’s garbage. Pure and simple emotional manipulation.

Traditional: Twelve Days of Christmas (with exceptions for versions featuring Straight No Chaser and The Muppets.) We get it. You have a bird fetish. Gross. Who is going to clean up after this?

I was going to put Mariah Carey’s version of All I Want for Christmas on here, but I have to admit she has some undeniable talent as a performer even if she cannot hit high notes anymore. We all say you lipsync on New Years Eve a few years ago Mariah.

The WORST OF THE BUNCH: Taylor Swift: Christmas Tree Farm. This would be ok if it were written and performed by a 7 year old. I hate Kanye West but I can cut him some slack for interrupting this song full of “these lyrics are dumb, but they need to rhyme” schlock. I would rather listen to any other song because at least they put in the effort. I put in more effort to write papers when I had screwed around playing games or whatever and started writing it the night before. GAH. Just no. I would rather watch the 2018 The Grinch than hear this again. There is just no excuse for this.

I guarantee I will have heard all of these in the next 4 hours.

A Controversial Opinion

I really just do not like mangoes. They are bottom-tier fruit, they really are.

Fruits that are better than mangoes:

  • Apples (all types)
  • Pears (all types)
  • Grapes (all types)
  • Pineapples (especially Hawaiian)
  • Pretty much all berries and I’m including things that are actually berries, but are commonly referred to as berries such as strawberries because if you want to get technical about it, berries by definition are a single-seeded fruit such as avocados. So I guess that makes guacamole technically a fruit spread, but I digress…
  • Tomatoes in the right circumstance (re: sauce or diced in specific foods)
  • Apricots
  • Peaches
  • Nectarines
  • Bananas (thank you Gwen Stefani for ensuring I can spell it)
  • Kiwi
  • Starfruit
  • Oranges
  • Lemons
  • Limes
  • Tangelos
  • Tangerines
  • Figs
  • Watermelon, etc.

Things that are in the same tier as Mangoes

  • Grapefuit (excluding grapefruit-flavored things that are better)
  • Cantaloupe